Swimming pool

A Tale of Two Tims

   Dream Journal

A GROUP OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES was arriving at a house for a field ministry group. Among them was Ben, an elder I never liked, only now Ben was a plastic watering can. I picked Ben up and flew higher than I had ever flown before. When we landed we joined the meeting for field service which was being held in the conservatory. The conductor—a friend of my dad’s called Tim Smith—was telling the group that I was spiritually weak and needed help. Then I found myself outside talking to my (now dead) mum. I was telling her that Jehovah’s Witnesses were a cult and begging her to leave but she wouldn’t listen. There were lots of parked cars belonging to the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I levitated and flew through the back window of one of the cars. Then I fell asleep.

I was at an assembly of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was assigned platform duty but when I turned up there was no one in charge. The platform was massive and there were hundreds of “brothers” and “sisters” on it, all dressed in Indian saris, waiting to be interviewed by the speaker. The assembly programme began and chaos ensued. The microphones weren’t working. No one knew where they should be standing or whose turn it was. Just then a childhood friend called Tim Smith—not the same Tim Smith that was conducting the meeting for field service—arrived backstage. I told Tim that he would have to take charge of things. He agreed and gave instructions to myself and the other brothers on platform duty. We went on stage and set the microphones up and told everyone where to stand. Some of the sari-wearing participants began dancing to Indian music.

I was sitting in a car with my mum. We were parked on a steep hill. The car started to roll downhill and one of the front wheels fell off. I shouted at my mum to hit the brakes but the car was out of control. It careered down the hill and crashed into a white-painted house. The homeowner came out and I explained what had happened. He wasn’t at all upset and started to repaint his house with a large bucket of white paint. I looked around for my mum but she was nowhere to be seen. Then the next-door neighbour came out to see what was happening. She was someone I used to study the Bible with when I was a Jehovah’s Witness. I asked if I could use her toilet. She directed me to an outside loo. As I sat on the toilet I realised that the walls were made of glass and the man painting his house could see me in all my glory. After that, we got in the woman’s car and started playing a game of cards with her children. Then she drove the car to the top of the hill and let it roll down. Just like before the car crashed into the man’s house but he didn’t mind and cheerily started painting his house all over again. Then I got into my van and did the same thing. This time I gave the man £50 to help pay for his paint.

I was in a shopping mall with my friend, Matthew. We were setting up our music keyboards outside a shop. Just as we were about to start playing a young man and woman turned up with a keyboard. They told us they were Jehovah’s Witnesses. We asked if they would like to play a concert with us. They agreed and started performing Greensleeves. An audience began to gather. They were all Jehovah’s Witnesses. I taped a razor blade to my keyboard to prevent anyone from stealing it. A mother with a baby told me this was dangerous.

I arrived at the home of an elderly sister called June. Tim Smith—my dad’s friend—was conducting a meeting again. The room was packed with people laid on the floor in sleeping bags. I levitated over the crowd and sat down on the floor next to one of my children. He started to have an argument with his brother who was sitting across the room. I had a large ostrich with me which I was stroking. Tim Smith was playing old records and asking the brothers and sisters to guess the tunes. Then he asked me to read from the publication being studied. Just as I started reading, two brothers I used to know, twins called Leon and Mario, turned up. Leon was unconscious and Mario was frantically performing CPR on him. I checked for breathing and found Leon was still alive. He was just drunk. I told Mario to stop doing CPR and together we dragged Leon out into the kitchen which was also packed with Jehovah’s Witnesses. As Leon sobered up, I went outside for some fresh air and found a copy of The Truth That Leads to Everlasting Life discarded in the bin. I picked it up and returned to the house just in time to find everyone dancing to one of Tim’s records. My mum was there. She was dancing but seemed to have lost her mind and was acting very strangely.

I was in my dad’s picture framing shop. It was long and narrow like a canal boat. Someone had broken in and smashed the place up. The landlord was there repairing everything. Then he drove me to my dad’s house. I found my dad laying in the garden, stoned on drugs. He had dogs, which was unusual because in real life he hates dogs. He was worried about not being in a state to go to work the next day. I told him to stop worrying. Then I returned to his shop. The landlord had finished repairing most of the damage, but he had left the door unlocked and one window was still smashed. I entered the shop and saw a creepy looking man-beast wearing a colourful poncho. I asked him to leave but he wouldn’t so I forcibly removed him. Then I turned the lights on for security and locked the shop up.

I found myself back at June’s house. The meeting had just finished. I left and got into my car with my kids. My ostrich had turned into a dog. We drove around June’s council estate looking for our house, but we couldn’t find it. The dog jumped out of the car and started running ahead of us. We still couldn’t find our house, so we got out of the car and started walking. My niece, Amy, was with us. I asked her to look after my children and to make sure they got home safely. Then I walked away. I shouted to Amy, “Ring me when you get home!” She replied, “I don’t have your number”, so I shouted my number to her. I looked at my phone and it was stretching in my hand.

I found myself back in my dad’s picture framing shop. This time it was on the top floor of an old building. I was looking after the shop while my dad was away. My dad’s friend, Tim Smith, dropped into the shop to see my dad. I explained he wasn’t there. Next door, on the same floor, was an art exhibition. I decided to take a look and was greeted by a young woman and her boyfriend. As I entered the room I received an electric shock. I looked around and noticed there was a grid of electric wires covering the room. Whenever I moved to look at a piece of art I received an electric shock. The couple told me this was all part of the “art sensation”. After numerous shocks, I began to feel strange, as if I was having an out of body experience. Then I realised I had been drugged. I tried to leave, but the man and woman wouldn’t let me. Day after day I tried to leave, but I was unsuccessful. After several months of imprisonment, I managed to escape and ran to the nearby Police station, but the Policeman on duty was a friend of the couple. He returned me to my life of drugs and constant electric shocks, and eventually prostitution. Then one day, I finally escaped and ran to a Kingdom Hall where I found my dad. He cried and hugged me when he saw me. It was then that I realised I was 73 years old. I had been missing for 20 years!

I was at a congregation gathering being held at a large public swimming pool. There was the usual food, music, and children’s games. Then it was time to leave. My (now ex) wife and kids were waiting in the car while I walked around the swimming pool picking up bags, clothes, and toys that belonged to us. I took everything out to the car and my wife told me it wasn’t our stuff. I told her to keep it because everyone had gone home and it was raining. I went back to the swimming pool and found a woman selling packets of Maltesers. I asked to buy a packet and she charged me £12. I told her the price was too high and I wanted some change, but she didn’t have any. I told her I would be moving to the swimming pool with my family. Then I got in my car and drove away.

I soon found myself back at the swimming pool. This time I was performing a concert with my old band, No Refunds. We had chosen to play on a roof overlooking the pool but I thought it was too dangerous so I moved all our PA equipment to the poolside. I was busy setting up our amplifiers and microphones when my fellow band members arrived with their instruments. The guitarist, Chris, said nothing to me. Johnny, the drummer, seemed distant. I gave him a hug and said “Come on man, you know I love ya!” Meanwhile, Ben—the watering can—was walking around checking our microphone cables. I told him to get a broom and sweep all the sawdust off the stage.