THERE WAS AN ALIEN INVASION COMING. Despite being a Jehovah’s Witness, I joined the military. I found myself at a military camp where I went through basic training, which consisted of watching other people shooting their guns.
I went to the quartermaster’s tent where you could choose which items you wanted to take with you into battle. There were hats and fresh white boxer shorts and really cool watches—but they cost £95. I chose a (free) rifle, a pistol, a beanie hat, a packet of blood clotting sachets, and some string. I saw a miniature high-heeled shoe on the floor and picked it up. I thought it would bring me luck. I asked the quartermaster for ammunition and was given very little. I asked for more and he conceded, but he still only gave me a few rounds. I was told if I wanted more I had to ask my friends to share theirs with me.
I did some flying. From up high I could see an alien spaceship had landed at a distance. It was shaped like a huge ball. Back on the ground, I got into conversation with another person who could also fly. He told me he had some futuristic technology for me. He gave me a miniature burner that could melt things at a distance and told me if I made it through the first battle he would also give me the laser rifle he had in his bag.
The battle began. I found myself in a cornfield shooting back at a large brick building. An alien appeared, a large blobby thing. I shot it dead. Then I saw another alien. It had me in its gun sight. I shook my head and pretended I wasn’t going to shoot him. He lowered his gun and then I shot him.
I found myself in a room with an old workmate, Damien, and a (now estranged) childhood friend called Melanie. Damien was drawing a freehand sketch of a car. I was admiring how straight the lines were. Melanie was condemning me for being in the military. I confronted her and said, “You’re supposed to be my best friend”. She denied that we were friends anymore. She told me it was wrong to kill the aliens. I defended myself but began to doubt my decision to join the military.
I looked out of the window and saw civilians in the cornfield taking parts of the alien spaceship away as souvenirs. I told Damien I didn’t think it was right and he said, “Well, we’re going to do the same when we capture their spaceship.”
I got into conversation with a young soldier and started explaining that I was going to decline to fight anymore. I looked around the room and saw many “worldly” people all prepared to die to prevent an alien invasion. I remembered Jesus’ words, “You are no part of the world.”
As we walked back to our camp, I composed a song called Bad Chicken Dinner with the lyrics “bad chicken dinner” which kept repeating over and over. I knew that when I got back to the camp and declined to fight that I would face a court-martial and go to prison, but I would be able to tell Jehovah’s Witnesses I did the right thing in the end. I knew my story would appear in a future copy of The Watchtower magazine.