I AM IN A BANK. Someone is firing a gun. I fall to my knees and crawl towards the front door. There is a really loud gunshot. I lay on the floor and play dead. Suddenly, I find myself in
I AM WORKING AT GAMSTON AIRPORT. I’m in the technical records office. There are lots of other workers sitting at tables adding up aircraft flight times in red school exercise books. My boss, Dave, asks me to tidy up a
I AM IN A PUB. The congregation is there. We are having a congregation get-together but I’m disfellowshipped now so no one is talking to me. The pub is serving mashed potatoes and mushy peas. My (now estranged) childhood friend,
I AM AT THE KINGDOM HALL. I’m in charge of the sound system. The meeting starts and I play a song I’ve written myself. The audience don’t like it and no one sings. I’m upset but then I realise they
I AM IN THE FRONT GARDEN of my childhood home on Slade Green Road. My friend Matthew is sweeping leaves up. I go outside and help him. There is a wooden shed in the garden. I go inside and see
I AM IN THE BACK GARDEN of the house I grew up in—number 259 Slade Green Road, Erith. I levitate over the back wall and see lots of colourful wild flowers in my neighbour’s garden. I land in their garden
I AM AT HOME WITH MY PARENTS. I am in a room with bare electric wires running across the floor. I feel a buzzing sensation. Then I am electrocuted. I am at school, but I am in my 50s. I
I AM IN THE BACK ROOM AT THE KINGDOM HALL. I have taken my Bible apart, removed a load of pages so it is thinner, and trimmed the spine down to size. Now I am reassembling it with white PVA
I AM AT A CONVENTION OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES. There is a girl who wants to be my girlfriend but I turn her down for another. The convention starts and I ask my new girlfriend to sit with me high up
I AM A PASSENGER in my dad’s newly restored Mini Cooper. It’s been vinyl wrapped in red and white and has a really strange steering mechanism, like a kind of steampunk joystick instead of a steering wheel. My dad says
I AM AT A WEDDING RECEPTION BEING HELD IN BUCKINGHAM PALACE. I wander off into the Queen’s private wing and start nosing around. I’m walking down a corridor and come face-to-face with the Queen. I make excuses. “I got lost,”
I AM WORKING IN MY OFFICE AT GAMSTON AIRPORT. A woman approaches me. She is collecting biscuits for an upcoming office party. I tell her I have a big stash of biscuits in my desk drawer but when I go