I AM IN A HOSPITAL BED. I feel scared. I am screaming. I keep opening my eyes and seeing the coat on the back of my door. Reality and the dream world are morphing into each other. Am I asleep or awake? This is terrifying! I realise I’m having a lucid dream. I call out for help. I get out of bed and open my door. There are some nurses outside my door, or are they my house mates? Have I been screaming in real life and disturbing my neighbours?
I go back to sleep. I dream I’m filming a promotional video for a politician. I am at a school in a classroom. My boss, Dave, is there. He gives me an idea for my film — a man has been waiting for an operation on the NHS for a long time. He writes to the politician who helps escalate his case. It’s boring, but it’ll do!
Just then, a large orange and black tarantula crawls out of the ceiling and down a shelf of books to the floor. Then another spider crawls out, then another. Soon the tarantulas are everywhere. They fill the school. I climb up onto a desk to avoid them. Then the spiders go away, but a plague of locusts fills the school. Then the locusts are replaced with tadpoles which become frogs. This is like the 10 plagues of Exodus! Eventually the plagues subside and I am able to get down off the desk.
I take the politician and his opponent to the school library and try to take photographs of them. Dave is messing around with my Canon DSLR. He extends my white zoom lens way too far and breaks it. I have a Leica rangefinder but I have forgotten how to use it. I try to photograph the first politician in front of a shelf of books, but my photos are rubbish. The politician leaves.
I try again with the other politician. His wife is there. They kiss and I capture it. This time the photo is much better, with a nice bokeh (blurred background). I leave the school library and chase after the first politician. It’s snowing outside. I catch up with the politician and take a few photos. Then I walk around the town taking portraits of random people on the street.
It’s time to pack up and go home. I am collecting my camera equipment together and placing it into a brown leather camera bag. I have two cameras, a Leica rangefinder and a Canon DSLR. The Canon is caked in mud and looks like it will never work again. I have four lenses and caps which I am struggling to match together. Lastly, I have a flash and a small leather wallet containing some memory cards. I place all these items in my camera bag along with my beanie and a pair of brown leather gloves.
I look down and see other things left behind by people. There is a red picnic blanket left behind by my dad. It belongs to my ex-wife. I fold it up to take back to her. There are other blankets which I fold up and place on a stone bench along with a load of memory cards of different shapes and sizes and some small plastic action figures. I suspect the owners of the items will return at some point. There is a small brown leather pouch with a strap. I decide to keep it and place it in my camera bag. Then I see a red, plastic school bag. A name and school address are written inside in black marker pen. The school is in Retford. I feel the child who it belongs to will be sad to have lost it so I take it with me. Hopefully I can reunite it with its owner.