I AM WORKING IN MY OFFICE AT GAMSTON AIRPORT. A woman approaches me. She is collecting biscuits for an upcoming office party. I tell her I have a big stash of biscuits in my desk drawer but when I go to get them all but three are gone. Then I see a very fat boy called Joseph.
“Did you eat my biscuits?” I ask him.
“Yes,” Joseph replies.
“How many did you eat?” I ask.
“Five,” he says.
“You’re a pig, Joseph!”, I shout, “A pig, you hear me?”
I tell Joseph he has to buy biscuits for the party. Then I walk downstairs to the hangar to tell the woman what happened.
I get in a 4×4 and start driving home. A giant snake starts chasing me. I drive as fast as I can. I hurtle through some roadworks at break-neck speed. The bucket of a massive digger breaks off and lands in front of my car. I swerve to avoid it. Then I pull off the road onto some wasteland.
I see Toddles, the tortoise I had as a child. He is huge! The giant snake catches up with me and starts to chase me around the wasteland. Toddles comes to my rescue and eats the snake, but then he looks like he will be sick. I place some sheets of plastic in the boot of my 4×4 and go to lift Toddles into the back, but he has disappeared.
Then I see him. He is in a hole with another tortoise. They are mating with each other. I can’t tell which one is Toddles, but then I remember my dad drilled a hole in his shell to attach a length of string to stop him from going into our next-door neighbour’s garden.
I pull the tortoises apart, place Toddles in my 4×4, and drive home.